Thanks

There is actually no possible way that you would ever read this, which is maybe why I feel okay about posting it. The most natural of friendships can spring from the unlikeliest places and somehow be made stronger because and in spite of all the difficulty it's had to endure. Thanks for listening to the trainwreck that is my life this weekend and helping me evaluate the damage post-mortem. I'd say we're even now.

My head's been cleared, anxiety eased, and priorities set. Just need to grow some balls to top it all off. Here goes nothing! (Never mind that that phrase is often used right before someone attempts an endeavor they predict will be majorly unsuccessful. I meant it optimistically.)

I'm a (stipend-earning) slave 4 u

I should really be packing right now. I'm leaving for school in approximately six hours, which to a normal person would seem like more than enough time to get your life's belongings together and stuff it into two oversized suitcases and a stolen basket from the Korean supermarket (H-Mart, if you must know). Ah, but that is where our differences lie. I know that if I don't get started within the next 30 minutes or so, I will inevitably end up passing out among piles of discarded clothing (while resourcefully using my hamper as a headrest) only to wake up in the morning to my mom bursting through the door and shrieking with horror, "I knew I shouldn't have treated you like an adult and let you pack by yourself OH MY GOD WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING??!!?!"

But I'll blog anyway.

This summer will hopefully mark the end of a very enlightening chapter of my life: that of the unpaid internship. Ironically, the only internship that ever paid me hourly wages was the one I had at a community newspaper the summer of my freshman year. Since then, I have been on a hot streak of free labor -- can't complain too much though, as the workload was always manageable and the experiences very valuable, whether bad or good. And with that, even though you didn't ask, I present to you my own curated list of How to Be a Great Intern! I didn't actually do all these things but I really should have.

A continuation

I tire of things easily. Sometimes I chalk it up to the ENFP in me (that damn Myers-Brigg personality test has been the root of all narcissistic analysis parading under the guise of "finding yourself" -- I say this as if I haven't been a totally willing participant) or my deep-seated commitment issues (I do usually feel more in line with the childish, emotionally-impaired dudes than their needy, uptight girlfriends when they have The Talk About Where The Relationship Is Going) or that I'm just too lazy to ever finish what I start (this is probably the most accurate). It's easier for me to throw in the towel and declare defeat than trudge on, agonizing over every step. Thus I leave a trail of half-finished projects in my wake, prompting them to desperately cry out SOMEBODY COMPLETE ME after which I tell them to stop flailing their little arms and be quiet so I can watch Glee.

What I'm trying to imply amidst the parentheses-ridden word vomit is -- I'm not going to say this is a new blog. This isn't a clean slate, a fresh start, a hopeful spring bud peeking through the hardened layer of winter frost. This is merely a continuation of my old traces on the Web and my attempt to follow through with something I had planned on updating periodically throughout the summer that ever-so-slightly-but-significantly reformed me and brought some clarity to issues I'd been heavily contemplating. It's over now, and I officially start my final year of higher education (hate to break it to ya grad school, but you and I ain't ever happening) in three very short days. As much as I would have liked to have documented my actual thought process while things were going on, I realized that I'm more of a reflect-now, write-later type and rather than showing the series of actions leading up to something, I just like to present the polished result. This is also me trying to change that.

I call myself a writer and yet the very activity that I supposedly find the most gratification from is also the one that most exhausts me. So this is me trying to make writing fun again. Trying to give voice to the artist inside and express myself to the world in the ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW...

Oh yes, you can roll your eyes now. I most definitely just did.

The self-indulgent journey begins!